Today my old skin has become as dust. I walk tall among men and they know me not, for today I am a new man, with a new life. Og Mandino

I love this, and surprisingly for me, my hair is not on fire because it says “man”. I can change it to woman if I want, but I don’t particularly feel the need to do that which is interesting for me.

Recently, I find myself going through my days observing my own behavior, as well as the behavior of others, as if from afar.

I’m able to hear and catch myself on negative word patterns and thoughts that do not serve me. I’m able to hear the same in others, and I silently re-frame what they’ve said to better serve them as I’ve been doing for myself.

This doesn’t mean I don’t revert to old patterns. I expect that will continue to challenge me as long as the political climate is as maddening as it is right now. I am able to stop clenching my fists and haven’t mentally threatened to do anyone bodily harm recently; a step in the right direction for sure.

I’ve been trying to describe how I feel lately to myself. It’s almost as though I have a secret, and my Cheshire Cat smile might give me away to others.

The importance of consistency as well as the fact this is hard work, and some days it is really hard work, is not lost on me. I hold no illusions about any magic wand for this process and still, it is rather magical.

The fifteen minute sit, once impossible for me, has been conquered. The cleared mind is progressing more successfully than I expected. These are massive wins for me, a “fidgeter” by nature and by past training. I am actually enjoying and beginning to look forward to the fifteen minute sit.

My Definite Major Purpose is still a work in progress, and I find myself now inclined to replace one of my former PPNs as I get to know myself better.

I’ve never known what I want, partly because I never dared to ponder it possible if I chose it and partly because I’ve spent my life adapting and adjusting to those around me.

I’m discovering so much about myself, and the new information and realizations have made me happier and more positive than I’ve felt in I don’t know how long. I understand quite a bit more about me, and that helps me be more present and more myself with others in my life.

I do feel I am walking tall and have a new life.