This week It was time to generate some enthusiasm and emotion. I decided to explore emotion and desire in creating a DMP. I had to slow down in order to actually feel the feelings. It created in my mind has a tiny bit more space.

My life is busy with lots of tasks and responsibilities, and there isn’t time for emotion. I have always just got it done, whether parenting, helping, working, supporting – basically being a caregiver. I have learned to suppress to the point that suppression is my superpower. I can think a lot, but don’t actually feel.

So I took the time to look up possible feelings in Brene Brown’s: Atlas of the Heart, as well as a thesaurus. I kept it to the positives: joy, happiness, calm, contentment, gratitude, tranquility, awe, wonder, and excitement. I decided to try and really feel them, even if they weren’t real in the moment.

I had to pretend and imagine what some feelings felt like in my body. Or ask my subby to show me what something felt like. I did laugh at myself – it was making-believe into reality. But it did create some magic. I could feel a change in myself, which I then used to do the reading.

I then wondered if incorporating physical movement into the feelings will make it even more real. Exercise seems very scripted for this, so allowing an unwinding of the body while imagining a certain emotion is almost like dance – but not to be seen by anyone else. Just unscripted movement connected to an emotion.

And then I can dance the dance of my DMP. For myself. By myself. All anyone else has to see is me when I joyfully dance the dance of my new and exciting life! (I have never been a dancer before). I am learning to move from feeling as a mental construct into embodying and experiencing emotion in a new way, and then using that to generate what I want my reality tobe.