My confusion is getting less murky.
I finally realized a few days ago, I am so wound up and stuck on “the how” that I can’t dream, can’t visualize what I want. I haven’t believed it would be possible, and there I got stuck. This is a huge stopping point for me in working on my DMP.
I’m still struggling with my PPNs and have been shifting them around too to see what feels right. Still not there, but I will get there.
Another big aha! Happened between yesterday and today. Yesterday morning, I was all excited because I was getting it that I was focused and stuck on the how. By last night I was feeling a little bummed. This morning I woke up feeling pretty discouraged and wondered if my depression was creeping up on me again.
Then I remembered the session from Week 4 and Mark telling us about the woman who had to feel angry so she chose the coffee shop with the long line over the one that was easily accessible. Had to get that fix of feeling “normal”.
I began to get that’s what I am doing now. It’s comfortable, at some level, for me to struggle with depression, feel less than I can be, and so on. Here I was making it happen…again.
I have always felt I am a powerful person, but that I just can’t get from here to there (where I want to be; whatever in the world that is). It’s always frustrated me that I can’t figure it out. What’s wrong? What holds me back?
I’m just getting clarity on what I do and have been doing, and this alone feels like a victory. I can identify it, recognize it when it is happening, and just as I did this morning, my antidote is to “do it now” and dig into this material again.
Feeling better this afternoon: #grateful
These may be baby steps, but they’re moving me in the right direction, and I’m not about to give up.
I always keep my promises.
Cheryl, I admire your honesty in recognizing challenges and taking positive steps toward your goals. Keep trusting your journey.
Hi Cheryl, I feel you! I just want you to know, that you are not alone with this struggle. Me too, struggling with writing my DMP and was completely blocked by overthinking! I had to rewrite again, focusing in Baby steps along my PPNs and just write if for myself only FIRST! Not including my Daughter the way I wanted it, was a bummer! So, I took the advice from Mark & my Guide ( from week 4), to start with your own needs first and later on, you can change it again along with the PPN. It is a process and we are learning so much new stuff here. Be patient with yourself and try to relax more often. We ARE DOING IT! Greetings to you, Sabine