We began reading the second scroll, which is all about greeting the world with love. There is a section, mentioning using LOVE as a shield against all the negatives in this world

In my mind, I see that as a shimmering ball of light surrounding me, like it might in a video game. I was struck by the notion that LOVE could be used as a shield to protect me from harm.

For all or at least most of my life, I have spent time and energy building walls to keep things hidden or private, or walls to keep things or people out, shielding my inner self from harm or potential harms by creating invisible walls of rock, stone, and brick, an inner labyrinth of walls that would somehow protect me and keep me safe.

As you might imagine, I’m not sure all of that time was well spent. Did I perhaps make some better decisions, that lead me away from peril, maybe? Did I absolutely deprive myself of a lot of things based on fear? Fear of what could happen, fear of what might happen, yes absolutely.

This week I have struggled – with the time change, with sleeping, with wanted to rewrite everything, to feeling unsatisfied with my poster and not sure how to fix it. With not being able to visualize in my sit.

Lastly, I have too many opinions. Some days I can observe and not share. Other days I cannot seem to contain them. This is an assignment that is going to take me more time to get under control.

I am trying to take the time to think about what I am going to say and make sure it is not judgmental or negative; which I am sad to say they are a lot of the time. I have been able to not say things but I have had little success with not thinking the things to start with.

I am trying to curb this, but I am not there yet and will continue to chip away at it.

Overall, it has all been a little rough this week. As our wonderful teachers guide us, some weeks will be harder than others, that is definitely so true for me this week. I am feeling like I am behind where I should be. Subby is definitely pushing back so I feel a breakthrough is just around the bend.

As an extreme positive, reading about greeting my day with love is such a great read. I feel like I am loving myself more each day and I may find time to sneak this read into my day for a very long time. It is helping me with my world view and helping me find my empathy.

I want to continue pressing towards my goals which subby seems to be adding to in ways I didn’t think of but give me a glimmer of something deep inside.. So I’ll chip chip chip away at that concrete and sometime soon I can’t wait to see gold.