I can sense that I am having an overall better state of being. I am more curious towards what tomorrow will bring instead of just wishing to not wake up the next morning, which I think Is quite huge.

I am still very tired and am recovering after the dental surgery I had which was quite strenuous and especially from the last 7 years of being in constant alarm mode.

I think it was by the end of last week or maybe a little before that even that I suddenly realized that I could let go of the stress and tension of being a full-time care giver of an adult with extremely high demands, advanced dementia, insomnia and panic attacks.

I keep doing the exercises as much as I can although I feel I have fallen behind because of the two weeks I was in extreme pain and still I am struggling to speak because of pain so I have not recorded the voice thing and am not repeating things aloud yet.

I feel my future self is quite a stranger still and am trying to figure out my DMP. It seems that I have been stuck for so long in barely survival mode that it takes time to get out of it but I trust, feel and see that I am on the right path, just have to keep going.

I think the hardest thing for me is the plan of action, the concrete things, the clarity and that it is what I need the most. I love the mental diet and I think I am doing quite well on it, I am surprised by it, I do not even know how I do it.

I also realize that I have difficulty concentrating, my mind seems to wander off a lot so I keep training that muscle so I can reach laser focus.