Thinking Big Thoughts
This week has been interesting. I am so looking forward to moving on to the next scroll tomorrow. This one has been uncomfortable for me. I realized this morning part of that is connected with my younger sister who died more than thirty years ago as a result of medical neglect at a hospital on the west coast.
Long story, but I remembered this week when she told me how scared she was when she realized she was dying. She was terrified about what would happen to her little girls when she was gone.
Realizing this tied in with the emotion of guilt we’ve been discussing as I had terrible survivor guilt after she died. She had four very young children and I had none. Why was I still here and she was gone…and I was 3,000 miles from them taking care of my aging parents? I had forgotten about the survivor guilt until now.
My sit has been interesting as well. The stillness and the quiet I can now find during my sit really surprise me. The stillness is where is all happens. I realize I can think big thoughts, and if I hold those thoughts close and consistently, they will manifest in my life.
The space I am able to create during my sit is no longer filled with random swirling chaotic thoughts like isn’t that 15 minutes up yet? And others… Instead, awareness of possibilities, personal victories and happiness fill the space.
This week has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for no other reason than I am aware I am changing. I fear slipping back into old habits and behaviors.
This week I’m definitely not in my comfort zone. My happiest thoughts are big ones that I am actually beginning to believe I can hold and manifest if I refuse to return to the normal, the comfortable and continue to embrace change.
See more about what I have learned in my Master Key Experience by clicking here.
