To Still the Mind – Silence – To BE
Have you ever wondered what it means to just be? Living in the age of technology has the mind dealing with millions, if not billions, of bits of data per second.
When you finally decide that life isn’t what you thought it should be, and you ask yourself, what can I do?
As a mother of 5 children who were born within 6 years between the oldest and youngest, you might say I had my hands full. Silence was extremely rare.
Then I came across a book that talked about manifestation and stilling the mind. The book stated that if one could still the mind for 68 seconds without thought, one could manifest.
The book went on to say that one could accomplish more in the 68 seconds of silence or stillness than a person who worked daily for 100 years.
I sat with that statement, pondered the explanation or ancient knowledge. Was this something my soul already knew and therefore accepted it easily? Had I already accomplished this in another lifetime?
I had been a person who was always pushing myself physically, especially with 5 young children, working as a real estate broker and also as an accountant for a large truck stop, 24-hour restaurant.
To say I was a busy mom was an understatement. I had all the children in weekly activities on top of my two jobs. At the time I was very OCD and needed everything to be orderly, clean, and run like a military operation for me to feel in control.
So, armed with this newfound knowledge, having pushed myself physically, sometimes working 3–4 days without sleep, no coffee or stimulants which my body would go into anaphylactic shock from if I dared try and consume. I decided to take on the challenge of stilling the mind. I believe my soul knew this was something that I had to do for my own sanity. I could no longer continue the way I was living.
Sometimes not knowing something is difficult but driven to succeed, we push ourselves to experience the ideal, the goal, in this case silence, stillness of the mind.
I decided to take 1.5 hours twice daily to sit and be still. Before anyone was awake, I would sit in silence and whenever there was a thought, I would let go of the thought and go into the silence.
My understanding was that I needed to have a prayer, or desire, focus and then literally go into the silence, with intensity, a magnetic force, being one with the universe.
Over the next weeks, it became easier and easier to still the mind. Go into the heart, sense and feel the stillness.
Then, one day, my mind went blank. NO THOUGHT, NOTHING, STILLNESS, BLANK.
I thought I had lost it. I thought that I had a mental breakdown. It was a strange feeling. NOTHINGNESS.
It was uncomfortable. It was something I had never experienced before. I had lived in chaos my entire life. I had from the time I was an infant lived in fear, extreme abuse, and trauma. Never feeling safe. Now I was living in stillness, peace, no thought, no mind chatter. It was a place of discomfort initially.
Once I realized that I had stilled my mind, it was a moment in time. A switch turned off and it never went back.
That was over 30 years ago. It is so long ago; it is hard to remember what it was like before that time. What I do remember was stopping the mind chatter was peaceful but initially it was a strange feeling. I had to get used to it.
What also happened was the mind chatter, the negative thoughts about self, stopped. It all just stopped.
Have I worked on and seen miracles by focusing on something and manifesting it absolutely? Yet, I have also struggled as well.
Here is where I feel the key is. The body, the cells, the DNA and the unconscious mind have been programmed, and we experience the program running on autopilot every second of our life. The unconscious mind processes 400 billion bits of data per second while the conscious mind processes 2,000 bits of data per second.
So, I feel the key is to learn to reprogram the unconscious mind, to become aware of not only our thoughts but to reprogram or rewrite the program. This means, consciously, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
At the core of the issues is also worthiness. Knowing it, feeling it, and overcoming the lack of worthiness is a whole different animal.
What does it feel like if you can relate to the moment of separation from the creator, being one with the creator and then being born into a physical body. Being in the warm and safety of unity with the creator and then suddenly separating just enough separation to be thrust into a young body. Feeling that moment of separation – not complete separation, but separation just the same.
Feeling love so intensely, feeling the oneness and then coming into a cold and foreign environment. The environment that wasn’t warm and loving, but cold, unfamiliar, shocking, painful, loud, overwhelming – overloading to a sensitive soul being.
This was the root of the unworthiness. I have felt deeply that moment, many times. Overcoming that feeling, and reconnecting to the oneness to the depth that I merge, and I am oneness with the creator, I am oneness with all that there is, is very different.
Surrendering all the feelings, thoughts, emotions and inherited programs from both my life’s experiences and those which I inherited from my ancestors was the challenge.
Recently I have been assisting others to connect with their ancestors, to go into a state where they connect within what is described as a Celestial Court. The souls gather and agree to atone so that they may clear the slate allowing the person who is in embodiment live their dharma free of the old programs, traumas and limitations.
This has been my life’s journey. To heal the shatter parts of my being. Those parts that disconnected during times of severe trauma. The parts that fractured or dissociated for survival.
How to heal the mind, body and soul?
Connecting to my soul’s mission?
What did I agree to do before I became a soul in a human form?
Upon watching week 22 I can say that yes, I am aware of many of my spiritual gifts. This has been a journey of discovering me. It has also been a lonely journey. Some souls have mentors or teachers throughout their lives.
In my case my journey has been solo. Until more recently I did not have people to talk with, ask advice or get guidance from regarding the spiritual journey.
I have had from a very young age had a profound knowingness. I just knew things others didn’t. I knew things about people, circumstances before it happened. I also knew from childhood that one of my life lessons was to learn patience.
Another was that I did not need to go see all kinds of guru’s that I already knew. Not from a place of being conceded but that my soul had the experiences, and my job was to awaken my soul remembrance.
I have had profound experiences over the last several months connecting on many levels to both the ancestors to clear past traumas, to clear the land, the oceans, to assist souls to transition who were earth bound and many more experiences.
My struggle from creating miracles daily and then living the life I was truly meant to live is the internal struggle of knowing oneself, loving oneself and feeling worthy. To stop giving my power away to others, allowing others to manipulate me for their own gain.
Finding my voice. Speaking my truth. Standing up against adversity and feeling worthy to speak my truth without fear, without allowing myself to be pushed to the extreme before I really speak up for myself. Again, this is all part and parcel of learning to love self.
Please join me next week as I walk the hero’s journey of self discovery and self mastery.
See more about what I have learned in my Master Key Experience by clicking here.
