This week was the most challenging by far.

In retrospect, I became aware of a long held pattern:

I absolutely hate being falsely accused, followed by not being given an opportunity to explain or clarify my position, my opinion.

Usually this comes from family members and was a large part of my childhood.

And I understand, often expected, from these usual family members. So to be in a setting of this course, ask a question during a Q&A session, be cut off continually while trying to express myself and being interrupted and then answered in an accusatory way…. I was triggered.

I mean, if I wanna deal with this kind of crazy making behavior, I will simply call family members.

Obviously, the person and I were walking on each other‘s land minds, and we both were triggered.

I was constantly attempting to ask a question. She was constantly assuming what I was asking and drawing a false conclusion.

Eventually I gave up because you know what there’s one important thing I learned about this type of interaction from my childhood:

You can’t reason with crazy.

So I did what I have learned to do is the best way to diffuse the situation in the moment: go silent.

I watch people’s patterns of behavior so that I know what to anticipate from them. I have no intention of being in this sort of moment again, so I will not be asking questions in the weekly Q&A sessions.

Not always lost!

My guide and his master guide reached out to me and we had an appointment later in the week.

This was so helpful!

They let me express myself and ask my question uninterrupted.

I’m a yellow. And I’m the personality type that needs to tell a bit of a story to lay the foundation before I ask my question.

I realize that can be annoying to other personality types.

But here’s a thing: if you were going to lead something like the MKE, you have to have developed listening skills.

Also neutralize your own triggers so that when a student is asking questions from a good place, simply wanting clarity so that they can apply the information and get their desired result, that is not a personal attack.

So if the person leading the discussion for the group takes it as an attack, it shows what personal work is remaining to be done and should be embark upon promptly.

So I was faced with the personal question: should I stay or should I go?

Where else am I gonna go to truly transform and retrain my Blueprint, my Subby?

I choose to stay.

I am writing this blog now in the second week following when this happened.

And the learning point for me is when pursuing my goal and an unexpected challenge appears which completely could knock me off my pursuit, work around it or get over it and stay on course!

And that’s what I intend to do.

So as of this moment, I know how to rewrite the DMP and I have not done it.

I have not been doing the protocols consistently three times a day.

Now it is week six, remember I said I was writing this blog entry in retrospect, and I am definitely behind!

I’ll be catching up.

You have to show up for your success so I will show up for Class today, Week 6.

The biggest lessons learned this week:

• Stay the course!
• Accept responsibility for your behavior.
• Get clarity. Reach out to your Guide and Master Guide as needed.
• Reflect and observe personal triggers & neutralize them.
• Remember everyone is doing their best while carrying their own imperfection and baggage.
• Seek peace and pursue it.

Onward!