It’s not a straight line
I admit it. I kind of blew it this past week. Wait… kind of doesn’t do it justice. I blew it.
I could tell by last weekend I needed a serious dose of vitamin M, so I tuned into Mark‘s coffee hour on Sunday. It gave me a much-needed boost and a reminder of so many things.
The current chapter about harmony in The Master Key System is terrific, and I loved feeling, the wonder of having fun. In my family growing up, it was understood (at least by me): work=good; fun=bad.
In my sits this week, I was aware of harmony also meaning having no fear. I can’t explain it any better than that at this point. I was also keenly aware of harmony, vibration and pitch relative to how I was feeling or what level my mood was.
That was the good part. And then I got on overload New Year’s Eve.
One thing I now realize is it was probably a mistake to agree to see my in-laws three times in one week, even though one of them was unplanned and kind of snuck into our schedule. I love them dearly, but it’s not always easy.
I’m trying to process this, but having a hard time because I’m feeling a bit miffed and a bit just feeling badly and maybe a bit guilty for letting my buttons be pushed. I’m also disappointed.
Old issues that have been worked through and even resolved reared their ugly head, and in my household, there was an argument that could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t let my ego kick in.
I’m trying to give myself grace. I remind myself Haanel writes,
“…neither can you spend twenty or thirty years of your life building up negative conditions as the result of negative thoughts, and then expect to see them all melt away as the result of fifteen or twenty minutes of right thinking.”
— Charles Haanel, The Master Key System
Getting back on track today and more determined than ever to sort out and incorporate these new ideas and practices into my life until they become habit.
I’m mostly disappointed in myself that I wasn’t able to handle differently what irritated me and pushed my buttons. Boy did I just go right back to old behavior.
Truthfully, I was almost outside of myself watching myself doing it, but I just couldn’t pull myself back from it. Like a runaway freight train.
Oh well, I think I’ll go check out Sunday’s coffee replay and get another dose of Vitamin M.
Check out more of my MKE journey here.
Hi Cheryl, Notice that you are paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. That alone is a beautiful gift. You can not change anything if you do not see it. I often look up words to contemplate. Grace has two meanings: 1) simple elegance or refinement of movement and 2) courteous goodwill. Giving yourself grace when you notice thoughts and emotions you do not want could mean elegantly moving to thoughts and good feelings of what you want. I’m working on giving myself grace, too. It is a process. Thank you for sharing.