The More and the More

Happy New Year…

I’ve heard of how the holidays have a way of transporting you to the past but now I know it firsthand because I observed it in myself.

It started with my children coming to town. I’ve done work around employment, family ties and close friends yet never around my children. I pick them up from their flight the same as usual. We make out plans the same as usual. And I became selfless the same as usual.

Although grateful, my boys being with me this holiday brought up so many questions for me.

How come I didn’t notice that I was giving up my routine? Why do I feel like I have to be more than I am around them? Why do I abandon myself with the ones I love?

For 2 weeks I progressively fell off of my routine. I did it subtlety so that I wouldn’t notice, I assume. All the while making myself less so that everyone else felt better. The old blueprint at work.

I never considered myself a people pleaser before now. I mean are you a people pleaser if it’s invested in family? Ideally that’s just love, irrefutably. Yet I abandoned myself.

At the end of the stay, I was wondering why I felt so conflicted and I was able to have a really enlightening conversation today about just that.

I recognize now that I still have work to do around family, that close tie that we never want to lose. So, we bend more than we should. We go where we are no longer comfortable. We endure more than we’d like and then chalk it all up to the experience of the holidays. Or whatever.

We give so much that we can’t even be present. We give presents but can’t be present. When our presence is the greatest gift of all.

As the observer, I have never witnessed so much about myself than I have since I’ve been here in the Master Key Experience. I become greater with every trial because I know who and what I am by virtue.

I am first class made by first class. I have been given the ability to design my own existence by the creator of the moon and stars and heaven and earth. I control what I wield. I am powerful in my own right.

For that, I’m eternally grateful.

The cool part about it all is that there was awareness there. My awareness. Even in the background. Awareness enough to ask the unanswered questions without judgement. I was not existing with this awareness prior to this course.

I have less confusion and more curiosity. And here we are. Lessons learning and greatness on the horizon.

Peace and Blessing Family,

See more about my Master Key Experience journey by clicking here: Lakia McCrae