Here is what I have been pondering this week:

• 1. The Law of Growth. I now have the knowledge that what I think about grows.
• 2. The Law of Dual Thought. I now have the knowledge that I can attach a thought to a feeling.
• 3. The Law of Subconscious. When I attach a thought to a feeling, the subconscious accepts it and works 24/7 to manifest it. The stronger the feeling, the stronger the program.
• 4. The Law of Substitution. I can think about something else when a negative thought arises.

Powerful stuff I’m learning. But what I really am thinking deeply about is the application.

This last two weeks, I have really fallen off my mental diet. Not because I have not been doing the work. I have. I have been giving it my all.

However, I have allowed external circumstances to engage my old programming. I have been observing this. I have been doing my absolute best to substitute thoughts. But the negative thoughts have been formidable.

When I think about the Law of Growth, I get fear about the thoughts I keep having (frustration, anger).

When I think about the Law of Dual Thought, I observe that I am attaching potent feelings to the thoughts I am having. It simply creates more fear about the Law of Subconscious. Breaking that cycle has been a challenge; the old program is a stubborn foe.

My DMP dates have come and gone. I have a choice now – I can feel like I am failing, or I can treat this like a gift, and really take a deep look at my blockages. I think this week my realization is that I have to tear the walls down in order for things to flow.

At the best of times I am not a terribly enthusiastic or emotional individual. I don’t cry. My dad never cried. I get uncomfortable when others cry.

I don’t get excited – it was not something that was appreciated in my house growing up. My parents liked things quiet.

Maybe it’s because I was a very excited, happy child. Very energetic. Loving and joyful. Super creative. I realize now that I shut all of that down. I shoved it somewhere deep where it wouldn’t bubble up accidentally. I learned early that it wasn’t really acceptable behaviour.

I was very different from the rest of my family. I had to adapt. Now I avoid anything that makes me vulnerable – I thought that was weakness. Even now, I’m writing week 9’s blog in week ten, I’ve been avoiding facing these realizations.

Writing the blogs have been deeply uncomfortable – this time it’s downright painful.

Anger seems to be the one strong emotion that I clung to. Looking back now it doesn’t take Carl Jung to see why. I don’t blame my parents, they were extremely loving and supportive in most ways. They were just running the stiff-upper-lip repressed programming of their parents before.

I think my work is to find those emotions. To release them. To learn how to feel them. To not pass these shortcomings onto my children.

So where do I go from here? It took me 2 weeks but I am back on track with the mental diet.

I am not actually a negative person. I have always tried to be positive, and kind. I am naturally a supportive person, albeit opinionated and judgmental sometimes. But I admire those that feel deeply, that are loving and empathetic and enthusiastic.

I am loving substituting the affirmation “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy” whenever a negative thought bubbles up. In fact, I have peppered it into my recordings, readings and shapes.

The readings and sits are becoming second nature. I am starting to see and connect the shapes. I am doing the work, but with enthusiasm? As Mark J says, fuggetaboutit.

So, I have been thinking about the law of dual thought and the law of substitution as a tool to transmute my challenge into a powerful ally.

Can I attach a positive thought to a negative emotion? If anger is the most powerful emotion that I commonly feel, and it bubbles up frequently, until such time that I can change that through practice, and learn to feel other powerful emotions more readily, can I use it to my advantage?

My understanding and my belief is that powerful emotions are about interpretation. For example there is no physiological difference between anxiety and excitement. So can I substitute my interpretation of a feeling and attach it to a positive thought?

Can I substitute my interpretation of anger to enthusiasm or motivation?

I don’t have the answer yet, but I feel like in practice this may be the blessing in disguise.