I’m hoping that this is going to prove to be a blog post that I look back at and say, “Wow look how far I’ve come since then”. Right now I feel like I’m climbing an impossible mountain that I’ve trained for and prepped for in my head but the reality of trudging through mud, with freezing cold fingers and tired jelly like legs, is almost unbearable.

I’m hoping that when I get to the top and take in the tremendous view, I’ll have forgotten the pain it took on the way and only revel in the feeling of conquering the world.

I’m a super nerd or geek, depending on which side of the pond you’re on. I’m a red. If I feel like it’s gonna be good for me, or even if I know it’s not good for me but I like it, I will follow and execute instructions with extreme, robot like, determination. Nothing will put me off. However please say it like is. Tell me exactly what it is I need to do because once I way up what I need to do, I’m all in. I’m gonna do it.

And this is where I am right now… Sat writing a blog because I know I must but also knowing that I’m meant to turn off my electronics an hour before I go to bed. I want to go to bed two hours ago and now it’s going to be an hour after I stop writing this, which is way later than I want to be.

I heard Mark J say, there’s so much time in the day once you take away all the various things you have to do and include time for sods law etc there are still 12 hours left. That you only have to read for an hour. I can do that I thought. Now I realize however that it’s “only reading for about an hour” three times a day. That’s three hours of reading a day. What the actual frock?

I’m getting to the end of day two and I’ve only managed to do about a third of what I was meant to do… and I know all about the cake and how missing just one ingredient messes everything up.

I’m ridiculously tired. I work full time, have three children and already get up at 5.15 to be ready on time. Now I’ll have to wake up at 4.15 to get my first hour of reading in and in order to get enough sleep my phone should have been off an hour ago and I should be going to bed now. Plus I haven’t done the evening sit or read yet.

I guess someone is going to tell me that this feeling of overwhelm is just my blue print and somehow, I love it. Maybe if I’m looking back at this having got to where I want to be I’m laughing at myself.

Right now though, this is day two and I feel like I suck. The total nerd in me is ashamed at my poor start but is equally determined to see the view from the summit.

Let’s see what I can do…