MKE WEEK 17 – WHY DOES LOVE HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH?
Just reflecting over the last week of extraordinary love to complete strangers. Act of kindness, smiles, hugs and conversations. I find it easy to engage strangers, but my greatest challenge is my father.
Leaving home at 14 to live with my grandfather because I literally hated him and couldn’t be in the same space with him any longer. Now, he is 88 and I am 66 and we are toxic for one another. We have our good days, but they don’t last because we have history and our past haunts us both.
The kindness week gave my reasons for going out of my way to look past our faults and I discovered something that blew my mind. I really don’t hate him, I just hate his ways; disposition and he could say the same thing about me.
No blame on either side just spirits running our lives and we have been the puppets for so long until we forgot “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but principalities and wicked spirits.
You see he is present before me but, the spirit is in charge and running our emotions. Kindness gave me my coping skills to engage him more effectively and be able to interact with him. He has been diagnosed with early-stage dementia and with that, whoever they are in them hears it is multiplied 100 times more.
The communication is sometimes very heated, I have learned to just be quiet because when it is all said and done at the end of the day, he still needs my help. We are preparing him for occupancy in a nursing home where he will have companions.
The kindness segment has really helped me to look for high ground and express my love for him publicly. There are triggers that flare up areas and I just must learn when to turn off foolishness. Why does love have to hurt so much? Because love is painful whether it’s your sister, brother, mother or father.
Roosevelt, your reflection is powerful and shows authentic leadership in facing a tough challenge head-on. You’ve found a productive way to handle a complex relationship. Keep leading with strength—turning pain into wisdom takes vision. Thank you for sharing.
Loved your blog Roosevelt. The title Drew me in… but what I loved the most was the part where you say: I just must learn when to turn off foolishness… I need to that myself and learn to not take things personally… just let go and let God… just let go!