So many great insights, concepts, exercises, suggestions, depth of wisdom and understanding. I am taking it all in. I find myself lost within my inner world. Where did I lose myself and to what?

I’m in a familiar place, a beautiful space within that I once loved and enjoyed. How amazing it is that I’ve always been and still am surrounded within my inner world of consciousness, dedication to spirit, insights, love, growth, spirit.

Why then do I feel lost? How could I feel lost in such a beautiful world? Could it be that because there is no contrast, I can’t find myself? This is a familiar feeling. The external matches my internal and I don’t know where I start and where I end.

Although this union with the divine and all this is beautiful is what we ultimately seek, as a human being, I need inner boundaries. I think this is my fear – OMG! I’ve discovered something here. The last time I felt “at one” with all that is divine, I discovered it was cult- a true cult.

So now, I don’t trust anything that resembles goodness or divinity. I find myself in cynicism. I find myself focusing on how the experiences of how the past resembles the elements of this course and how the past ended in pain and despair. And that this will too. I know I get to focus on creating s new reality – YES!