The Gal in the Glass

To date, this reading has been the most impactful part of this course for me, aside from creating my Definite Major Purpose and reading that. The Gal in the Glass poem hits hard. In the moments where I’m tired, or lazy, or willing to default to someone else’s wishes instead of my own (and this is the largest category) I am now thinking of this poem.

It is often the case that I’ve entered into some kind of social obligation or contract out of a sense of obligation, or of being cooperative, or community minded. Of course, these contracts come after my time at work. So they take up a big portion of the time that I have available to me to pursue my dreams.

Half the time, the obligation is fairly meaningless. Often, I wonder if the other party would really care if I join or not at all. Sometimes, the obligation is very meaningful: time with close friends or family that cannot be replaced and is precious.

In both circumstances, what I’m giving up is also precious: the ability to look myself in the eye at a night, approve of myself, and have that amazing feeling of a job well done, of giving it my all.

When I started the course, the Master Key Experience (MKE) team asked me to give up something in exchange for realizing my dreams. I didn’t know what to include. I ended up saying that I would give up my concept of self (I have to let go of my attachment to my own feeling of short-comings/insecurity to have a chance at actually feeling good).

I also said something about giving up frivolous distraction, and finding ways to feel relaxed without actually relaxing. The truth is that I have few – if any – dispensable habits: I don’t watch TV for fun, don’t shop, have low social media use, etc.

But I do spend a fair amount of time people-pleasing, and putting the wishes/ needs/ desires/ incidental thoughts of others above my own preferences. Again, most of the time, I think this is in my own head: it doesn’t really have to do with any external demands made on me.

So, if I were to re-write my DMP and list what I’d be willing to sacrifice, I think it would be giving away time I truly need to achieve my goals out of a sense of obligation. Not always, and not when there is a real need. But if I can make three hours for a social event [or whatever else it might be] I can make three hours to work on my goals.

Writing this blog is a major help in just realizing that and thinking through next steps – so thank you MKE!