This third week I feel more positive and engaged in the activities, it feels like something clicked for me in this week call. I am thinking more about the desired future, even having more desire for a future. I am also learning to take more care of myself and not go into self-judgement as often.

Also, I guess the exercises have become more of a habit for me and are thus more easily accepted by my conscious mind and at the same time as they are more internalized, they have become a normal thing for my subconscious mind, a habit as we are learning. During the sit exercise I notice the big amounts of tension I am holding in my solar plexus and neck and how difficult for me it is to relax those areas, it is nothing new to me, but I just became once again aware of it.

And I am starting to make connections as to how it relates to my power center, standing in my power and the lack of it, the lack of energy, I guess an overall negative mindset held on to for long periods of time has left its imprints on me.

Some memories surfaced about the trauma that is carried in this area since my childhood, being chased by children on the streets, a dog in the neighborhood running and barking at me, getting close to me and me being afraid of being bitten by it, the feeling of being trapped at home, in a building, with no nature scenery to at least look at from afar, feeling like I was in a jail and could not escape.

I am also becoming more aware of how any trigger immediately hits me in this area. As I am learning in this course, my thoughts are what form my world, so in order to change my reality I have to change my thoughts and thus change my subconscious so a new reality can be born.

What is really challenging for me at the moment is my DMP, it seems that my total lack of clarity in my life is getting in the way of me finding some clear statements for my subby to understand.

I guess there is an inner battle going on and some old patterns are resisting the change I want, so I just have to be patient and persevere and work more on my conscious mind to lay down the foundation, the building blocks for success and keep trusting the process and that I will get where I want and know what I want in due time.