This week was a whirlwind!

The clarity I’ve gained about my path forward has been incredible and it’s come with a heavy dose of reality. It’s like I’m standing on the precipice of a new life and the only way to get there is to leave a part of myself behind.

It all started with an intense exercise in the MKE Week 12 Session on Sunday. 50 minutes of enTHUsiastically repeating my Definite Major Purpose (DMP) until it became a part of me. I left that session feeling empowered, courageous and unstoppable!

Gratefully, I remembered my friend’s words when he first recommended the MKE program to me: “Be ready when you join that program because you WILL reach your goals.” He was right! Everything IS falling into place.

That feeling was quickly grounded a few hours later when I joined my spouse and another couple for a three-night staycation. As we celebrated our recent financial successes – our best year ever, a wave of sadness washed over me. The irony wasn’t lost on me – here we were, enjoying the fruits of our labor, and all I could think about was my upcoming departure.

The truth is, my 26-year marriage has been a roller coaster of highs and lows. To put it bluntly, it’s an emotionally abusive relationship. When things are good, it’s easy to forget the hurt, the anger, the constant feeling of being less than and being repeatedly told that I am the sole source of our marital problems.

Those negative things always return.

Just a few weeks ago, during a seemingly calm conversation, I said something that triggered him. He erupted, yelling at me to leave the house “or change your attitude and stay!”

So either fall in line with the well laid patterns of emotional abuse in this marital dynamic or leave, follow through on my relocation plans already taking shape.

i’ve thought many times to leave the marriage. This time, it’s different. This time, I have a plan, a support system, and a vision for my future.

Leaving an emotionally abusive marriage is never easy, especially when feeling isolated, unsupported and told by supposed well intended confidants to just overlook things and keep the peace.

I’ve had enough.

I’m determined to create a life filled with peace and financial independence. A life where I can finally prioritize my health, both physical and emotional.

I intend to heal, to release the inflammation that’s been weighing me down, to reach my target size and weight. I intend to build a life where I never again feel forced to return to this unstable situation out of financial desperation.

It’s a strange feeling knowing that I’m perceived as the “discontent and unappreciative wife” by those who don’t know the truth. I’ve come to realize that I don’t need their approval.

I don’t need to explain myself to those who ignored my cries for help for 26 years. This is my journey, and I’m finally honoring my own needs.

I’ve become the source of support and strength I’ve always looked for externally and never found it.

So here I am, weeks away from my escape, disguised as a cross-country road trip. The cover story, completely true, is that I’ll be creating social media content as friend and I document our 3,000 mile road trip, attending a business cruise, and house-sitting for another friend while she travels abroad.

By the time February rolls around, I’ll be 3,000 miles away, starting a new chapter.

While the secrecy and the anticipation are heavy burdens to bear, I’m also filled with a sense of purpose. I’m simplifying things by selling my belongings, shipping the essentials to my new address, and quietly preparing for my departure. He hasn’t said one word.

Last week I woke into our conversation about positive upcoming earnings that I would be spending January away for work. He looked at me intensely and asked very little.

Surprisingly, he didn’t ask when I was coming back. That led me to believe he might know what I’m up to. Yet during very relaxed time during this vacation, a time when I thought he would’ve brought it up, he never did.

My relocation isn’t about revenge or hurting him. It’s about self-preservation and creating a future where I can thrive… a future filled with peace, joy, and the freedom to be truly myself.

This is my declaration. This is my time.