Today is day one of week two of the MKE Alliance.

I was deeply and profoundly moved by today’s presentation.

Two things I owned for the first time so deeply that I was moved to uncontrollable tears for several minutes during the lecture:

My choices = My results
PPNs remain the same until achieved

My Choices = My Results
All of a sudden, all of these connections started firing, snapping together in my mind’s eye! It was so distracting that I simply stopped listening to the lecture for a bit and cried deeply until connections settled into place.

When the tears dried up, I felt complete.

What provoked the deluge?

I think more of the cement chipped off as a result of hearing Mark J speak about choices and cause-and-effect, blah blah blah… I really don’t know exactly what was said that moved me so much.

So much great content is shared in class and it requires meditation to be able to comprehend it. My way of dealing with it in the moment was simply to cry, let off some pressure.

The thing I realized is that although I have spent the last 26 years looking like a middle aged, overweight soccer mom who drove a minivan and yet never had kids and never went to any school activities for anybody’s kid, that existence was the result of my choices.

Ugh.

And I feel so much compassion for that version of myself. She DID do the best that she could trying to live a life encased in cement.

It felt impossible to make lasting changes.

I now choose not to revisit any of my former stories. You know stories that contain the “reason” the why I did this or that because they are simply…

Excuses.

Now learning about the cement, how to heal the within to create the without, I have nothing but compassion and understanding for my former self.

This is a huge indication of personal growth!

All of that self-inflicted pain and agony habit is no longer needed to get through the day.

Now I know how to create new habits that will enable me to create the life. I want for myself while replacing the old habits so as to never repeat them again.

That’s worth the price of admission in and of itself.

All my life I have wondered how does a person reach long-term goals?

They keep their eyes on the prize, or in this case, my PPNs.

I now take responsibility for every choice, all day long. If this choice does not move me towards my goal, choose differently.

The habits I have developed over time have given me this middle aged soccer mom overweight version of myself.

If I created the habits to get those results, I can also create new habits that get me chosen results.

I did not realize how large I had become until I had lost 50 pounds and it was barely noticeable in photos. I was grieved deeply because it took a lot of work to release those 50 pounds and I still wasn’t “enough” so said the thoughts in my head.

Inner resistance: secondary benefits?
I am learning exactly how to build new habits within and I am resisting doing it.

No more wasting time scrolling on social media? Can’t stop doing it.

No more Netflix before falling asleep for the night? Can’t stop watching it.

I have never clung to scrolling social media and watching TV before bed as much as I am currently.

So I ask myself “What is the benefit I am getting when I hold onto these old habits that are hurting me?”

I’m not sure… yet. I will continue to think about that this week. Truly, I know it’s nothing worth hanging onto anymore. I just need time to process this, figure it out and let it go.

2. PPNs remain the same until achieved

I wish I had been able to figure that on my own and now that I’ve learned it from being in class today and asking questions, I will always remember it.

I’ve had long-term goals and met them and knew I needed to keep some kind of schedule to keep working at it every day until I got to that goal.

The difference now is that I’m learning to reprogram my subconscious so that I am creating lifelong habits that will get me to my goals with ease.

And those habits are constructed with all of the tools given to me in the MKE alliance mastermind and I’m simply… doing them. I don’t need to analyze it, I don’t need to question it, just tell me what to do and I’m doing it.

This attitude does not mean I’m being led blindly. Those days are over.

I truly believed I was between a rock and a hard place this week when my husband declared for me to, “GET OUT! LEAVE!”

I chose to not escalate the level of emotions in the room at that time and simply took my leave and went to my room.

For 26 years we have functioned as roommates, stuck to remain together because we took vows.

After 23 years of doing self work and being worse off ,I’m done.

So when he told me to leave, part of me was a little bit happy. But a lot of me sat with the concept while back in my room to re-examine my exit plan that is currently in place.

At this moment, I have nowhere to go yet.

I have very little cash on hand currently.

And this has been the Challenge for 26 years. I worked in our business. The details don’t matter because what is done is done.

Now I have all the resources I need to create the income for myself and leave.

Yet I’m procrastinating???

Not for much longer. I am following instructions from the weekly instructions to create new habits that serve me towards reaching my goals.

What do you get when you squeeze an orange? Orange juice.

What do you get when you squeeze a grapefruit? Grape grapefruit juice.

What do you get when you squeeze Stephanie? I’ll let you know because the current pressure from the current squeeze is the most intense I’ve ever experienced.

With:
• renewed focus on my PPN’s
• rewritten DMP with more clarity and feeling
• daily work to generate income
• daily reading and reciting with enTHUsiasm…

I am relocating January 2, 2025 with $25K/month residual income on my road trip to the East Coast to start my new life.

Yeah, today was a good day.

Onward!